Change

How does one go about writing something of this importance?

How does one announce such a life-changing event?

At first, I thought perhaps I would just post pictures and leave it at that, but as I began to think some more, I realized I couldn't just "leave it at that". I had a story to tell.

And is it a story of encouragement, excitement, and growth in the Lord, let me tell you!

This story begins on a Fall day in October of 2016, the fifth of October, to be exact. Jesseca Wheaton was visiting me from Kansas, and I had taken her to work with me at the Greenbluff orchard I'm so fond of, Hansen's.

We had spent the day preparing for cider making the following Thursday, and we chattered and talked and sorted apples and made labels, we visited with Mr. Hansen and ran the store. A blessed day all and all. I received a text from my friend Rose, who announced her and her boyfriend and her boyfriend's brother were all coming up to get apples.

I didn't realize how much that day was going to change my life.

I had met Rose's boyfriend, Joe, on many occasions, but had only heard stories of his famed younger brother, "Luka", as he was referred to. Rose and Joe began to tell me stories about him when they noticed the similarities in Luka's and my interests, be it in Russian history and our choice of clothes or how we related our adventures and stories. They thought we would be really good friends.

They had no idea how good of friends we'd become.

So that afternoon, as Jesseca and I worked on the labels, we heard someone call out to us. Coming to the front room, I beheld Rose standing next to Joe, her boyfriend, and another tall young man behind them.

"Emily, this is Luka," Rose introduced. "Luka, this is Emily, my friend I've been telling you about."

I shook Luka's hand and noted his strong grip, and said with a smile, "So you're my fellow Russian enthusiast."

He grinned at me, although a bit shyly, and replied, "Yes ma'm!"

Jesseca and I took the three on a tour of the farm, helped them choose apples to take home, and then came up front and talked for a while. It was time for Jesseca and I to go home, and since at the time I didn't drive yet, we were going to call home when Rose offered they could take us instead.

"There's only room for one more person in Joe's truck, though," I said doubtfully.

"I can drive you home!" Luka volunteered.

I took him up on his offer and had my first ride in his Scout all the way back to my house, with Jesseca, Rose and Joe following  behind. 

"So what Russian songs do you know?" I asked Luka.

"Hum a few bars and maybe I'll know it," Luka suggested.

So I began to sing Katyusha, and immediately Luka picked up on the words and we began to sing together, laughing and talking the whole way home.

It was later remarked to me by Jesseca from observation from Joe and Rose's truck that "You two were throwing your arms about and laughing that I eventually commented to Rose and Joe that I was pretty sure you two were talking more than the three of us combined."

It was true, but I wasn't to learn until later how significant that was, after Luka's oldest sister-in-law commented to me that, "Luke has never talked much to many people, so when I saw how much he talked to you and enteracted with you I knew you two would end up in a relationship together."

The shy woodsman and the exuberant farmer... except the exuberant farmer girl had no idea that her woodsman friend was not usually this comfortable with anybody.

When we got home Luka and I talked for nearly two hours, exchanging Russian jokes and laughing and talking with Joe and Rose and Jesseca. Before they left I gave Luka a copy of my Russian-American story, Free, and told him not to lose it. Now that I look back, I'm shocked I did such a deed since I was so protective over my book that I rarely gave it out to anyone. But I gave it to him in complete confidence, knowing he would care for it and that he would return it in good condition. I was confident I had found in Luka my first really good guy friend, and that we would be best buddies.

Jesseca told me that sitting on that porch while Luka and I told story after story, barely noticing anyone else, that she sensed a change was heading my way. That this "Luka" was not just going to be friend.

She knew far more than I did that the time.

Over the course of the winter I saw Luka several more times. One moment in particular I remember, it was he told me a joke about Finns and Russians.

"Finns are very hospitable," he told me. "When the Russians came for a visit bringing bread, the Finns served them Molotov Cocktails in their honor. They couldn't understand why the Russians left in a huff!"

I began to laugh and laugh and laugh, and Luka stared at me in shock.

"What?" I asked between giggles. "That's really funny!"

"You are the first person I have ever met who understood that joke," he said softly.

There was something in his eyes at that moment, and I felt a strange tingle for a fraction of a second. Then it was gone and I forgot about it. I would come to think more about that moment later, especially after January...

January brought a new strange sensation in me. I spent three days at the camp with the newly engaged Rose, who was to marry Joe. I helped her with wedding plans, helped work around the camp, and then got assigned to help Luka with the carting of the wood. We spent those two days together singing and talking and having a fantastic time, and all the while my heart began to stir. I didn't understand why at first, and I didn't know why I was so excited to be with Luka the entire time. But something was changing.

There was one moment in particular I remember, standing next to the wood pile while Luka related a story to me about his mother and how much he loved her. I had never heard a man talk so fondly of his parents without any condemnation as I heard Luka do, and it really struck me as very special. I have always believed that a young man who loves his mother is a man  who will love his wife in the exact same way, and I was very impressed by how much love he carried in his heart for his parents. He really respected them.

It was while he was talking that, in the back of my head, (or maybe it was my heart) I heard this tiny, quiet voice say with such power is startled me, "This is the man you can go on adventures with."

What on earth!? I wondered, my heart skipping a beat as I tried to comprehend what that meant.

By July, I would find out.

It was after that trip in January where I spent so much time with him that I found Luka never left my thoughts again. I caught myself thinking about him every day, and at first I was mad at myself. Luka was my best guy friend ever! Why was I developing these weird thoughts? Why was I having these dreams about him where he would give me a hug or kiss me on the cheek!? What was happening to me!?

Over the course of a couple of months, things kept going that direction until I had to accept that something in my heart and been awoken--- I was pretty sure I was feeling the first stirrings of love for this Lucas.

How was I to know that, at the same time in a much more subconscious way, that the Lord was turning Lucas's heart toward me? I wouldn't know until after Rose and Joe's wedding, when, the morning after, I helped Lucas clean the kitchen and mop the floors.

By this time some events had occurred that caused Lucas to realize I was very interested in him, even though I truly believed he had no interest in me. This part of the story, though crucial because of the part the Lord played in it, I feel is best to leave out because it was a rather painful memory for me and a bit of a private matter for Lucas. I will say that the Lord put it on my heart that for a man I was beginning to develop very strong feelings with, and who had not made his intentions clear to me, that I needed to approach Lucas in March and tell him that I felt we were texting too much for two young adults who were merely "friends" and that my heart was beginning to be compromised by our friendship.

"I want more than anything to be your friend," I said, choking back my sobs in my throat. "But I know you don't feel the same way about me as I do about you, I am very compromised in my feelings toward you and I don't want to ruin our friendship. We need to cut back on how much we talk to each other."

That day hurt more than anything in the world, I never felt so sad as I did that day. I was convinced, by the shocked look on his face, that I had lost my best guy friend forever. I had done what the Lord had asked me to do, He had told me that I had let this go on too far and that if I continued to let our continuous talking go on it would hurt my heart more and more and compromise my friendship in an even worse way.

So that day in April, when we were mopping the floors together and talking, my heart was about to pound out of my chest when once more I heard the Lord say in a still, small voice, "Ask him to explain what he meant by he is 'reconsidering things over.'"

I couldn't believe the Lord would ask me to do something so bold, which went against every thought I had about relationships in my head! It just felt...wrong! I thought the guy was supposed to do all the approaching, I thought I couldn't say anything about a relationship and had to wait for him to do all the explaining and the leading! I had already had to make it clear to Lucas that my heart had been compromised by our constant texting and talking and that I had feelings for him when I was positive he had none for me, and that was so against what I had thought girls were supposed to do that the thought of bringing up a comment he had made to me two weeks earlier seemed outrageously bold.

What I came to understand later was that God works in different ways for different people, and He wants obedience. 

Now it should be noted that Lucas went to the Bible study I went to for the first time a week prior. Originally several people were supposed to gather at our house and all go together, but at the last second everyone had to pull out and I was left to go to Bible study with Lucas all by myself.

Imagine how terrifying that was for a girl who was very much starting to feel love in her heart for a man who had said absolutely nothing if he had any feelings for her, and yet knew her feelings for him!

That night was an incredible Bible study. I barely remember it because of how nervous I was, but I do remember how much it touched Lucas. He told me he had an awful lot of thinking to do, and God was speaking to him pretty clearly. That night was also the night Ivy Rose came for the first time to the Bible study, and she very carefully observed my interactions with Lucas and informed me the next day, "If that guy hasn't said anything verbally to you, Emily, about liking you, it's all in his eyes. He cannot stop watching you, and he gives you the cutest adoration look you can imagine."

Now fast forward once more to our mopping time together, and that same comment was floating around in my head, along with the strange thing Lucas had said to me two weeks prior, "You know, there's a lot of things in my life right now I'm reconsidering."

Ask him what he meant by it.

The Lord prompted my heart again.

So I took a deep breath, and between swipes with my mop, blurted out all of a sudden, "When you first found out I liked you and I was hurting, you made a comment a couple days later about how you were reconsidering things. What did you mean by that?"

Lucas stopped mopping and leaned on the mop, gazing thoughtfully at me in careful consideration. I looked up at him, breathless, and shaking from, well, everything.

"Well," he said slowly, "I meant exactly what I said. I was reconsidering our friendship and thinking about how much I liked talking to you every day, and how that was hard not to talk to you every day."

"What does that mean?" I asked in a whisper.

He looked at me, and his cheeks slightly flushed. "I am interested in you, Emily."

The words were exactly what I wanted to hear, and I will never forget them for the rest of my life. I gulped, and couldn't respond, just looked at him with probably a stupid school girl stunned look.

"But I am not ready to pursue a relationship with you just yet," he continued, shifting his weight. "The Lord clearly spoke to me at that Bible study a week ago, and I have to get right with God. I am not right with Him, and if I'm not right with Him I have no business adding you to my life and causing you pain. So can we pray about this for a couple months and revisit the idea after I've spent a while getting on the right track with God?"

Well of course I said yes, and for the next couple months I wondered and fretted and was terrified after the couple months Lucas and I continued to pray about if a relationship was right for us, if he would come back and tell me no, God had told him that he shouldn't pursue a courtship with me and that we weren't meant to explore the possibility of marriage together.

Obviously, that didn't happened.

On September first, just a couple weeks ago, Lucas and I went on a walk up a large hill near my home together. We talked about many things, our friendship, the first time we met nearly two years ago, how our friendship has grown into our courtship, and how much the Lord has continued to bless us and bring us closer and closer together and to the Lord.

"It's pretty incredible what God has been showing us, isn't it?" Lucas commented.

"It is," I said with a sigh, thinking back to how much the Lord has done in our lives since a year and a half ago, when we had that talk over our mops.

We got to the top of the hill and sat down, overlooking the valley below and admiring the view. We were quiet and breathless, sitting on the ground, when Lucas turned to me and asked quietly, "Emily, I have a question for you."

"Yes?" I said, turning my head to look at him, finding him on one knee...

And he pulled a ring out of his pocket.

"Emily, will you marry me?"

As I write the last words of this blog post, looking down at my beautiful rose-shaped sapphire ring, I'm reminded of the last two years since that day Jesseca and I worked at Hansens and I first met Lucas. Who would have guessed that two years later, I would be preparing to be his helpmeet, his wife...

His Mrs?

Only God did, and I bet he was smiling the day he brought Lucas into the Hansen's shed with Emily.