The Long Medical Update

Some of you may recall about a month and a half ago I posted about having some health issues. During that time I was also struggling a lot with bouts of nausea, anxiety, depression, things I generally don't normally struggle with. I tend to be more of a worrier than I should be and the Lord has certainly been teaching me to give everything to Him and surrender all need to know how things will go, but there seemed to be something else going on that I just couldn't pinpoint.

That is until the last couple weeks, when it became apparent I couldn't go on pushing the fact I was really struggling out of my mind anymore. I needed answers.

In my scrubs, waiting for my MRI. I wasn't very pleased
in this picture. ;) I was tiredddd...

I was already having some trouble with depression back in November when my dear boss passed away and Bodie got injured, but at the time I was working pretty heftily at my normal farm job and then transferring as a temporary assistant manager position at a horse barn. I really didn't have too much time to contemplate things or think too much, so I just went on with work and life. In February, however, I slipped and fell at work and caused some prolonged internal bleeding. The thing was, no one could figure out where the blood was coming from, so after several months of tests we just threw in the towel and decided it was an injury that had healed itself. The pain was pretty intense at times and it hurt a lot, but then things got interesting...

Another thing I"m not a fan of---ports. ;) It wasn't too bad
once I got past the needle part!

While waiting on test results and MRIs (I got an MRI three months after I got injured, due to the long waiting list.), I started to have problems with nausea and anxiety. Thinking it was connected to the stress of having to quit my job because of my injury and the pain I was in, I promptly dismissed it as symptoms of too much care about things out of my control. While this was a huge part of it (I have had anxiety issues in the past before, and I knew that a lot of it was showing me I had unresolved trust issues with the Lord He wanted to show me), the nausea and pain in my side didn't go away. There were some mornings I woke up feeling so sick I didn't want to get out of bed.

My port...

And vet wrap for the poke afterward.
I laughed and told the doctor I use
this on my horse. ;)

After the MRI, which showed no existing injury but did confirm I had since developed kidney stones due to how stressed out I'd been, (which are quite painful I'll inform you, but thankfully not debilitating for me at this time!) I figured that was the end of the medical search and I could get back to trying to conquer the anxiety which I was sure was causing my nausea. But it didn't go away, and after a while my mother and I decided it was time to get it checked out.

For a while I was making these little anti-anxiety
posts for myself whenever I felt nervous, starring
Adventure Sheep!

And as it turns out, I have a lot of food allergies!

After I described my symptoms of waking up feeling anxious or depressed, and how sometimes I would throw up for no reason and how I just generally felt bad, my doctor told me all my symptoms sounded a lot like food allergies. I was confused how food allergies could cause anxiety, but she explained to me that my general description of the heaviness in my chest, the heart pounding, etc. Sounded far more like my body was reacting to something and I was interpreting those reactions as anxiety. So off to get a blood test and an upper GI to check for ulcers. While the GI came back negative on ulcers, my blood test returned with a very long list of foods I'm allergic to, and most of them are things I really like to eat. (Carrots, people, how on earth did I end up with an allergy to carrots?! And potatoes, the best veggie in the world!)

Puttin' on my brave face after my upper GI.

The GI also showed I have bad stomach reflux, and though there is no damage from it, a lot of my nausea and heavy-heart feeling has been coming from that. My food allergies have been causing some of my heart-pounding, sleepy, nauseous feelings as well, and I'm having to learn how to figure out my diet without cutting out everything while I await my final appointment to confirm my food allergies.

So what does all of this mean? It means that, though I know there are a lot of areas in my life that the Lord was showing me I didn't trust Him on and caused myself to have anxiety over, a lot of my fear and health issues were not caused by me. They were already there, and I just didn't recognize the symptoms. I don't know about the rest of you, but I tend to blame myself for causing a lot of my problems, and it almost felt like with the discovery of these allergies and the bad reflux that the Lord was telling me, "Emily, chill out! You didn't do this to yourself, it's really okay. You can relax, stop beating yourself up about it."

Very blessed I made it through my GI without
too much of an issue and the nurses were nice!
Plus, this gown was kinda cute.

I will say that I am not a fan of doctor appointments. ;) Though they have been helpful, there have been some times I would have rather hid in my bed all day than go to the doctor.

Things are changing for me all over the place. The kidney stones seem to be subsiding in their intensity, though sometimes I still get sharp pains in my side. My nausea should be getting better as I start taking reflux medication, and once all my food allergies are addressed and we figure out how to change my diet to fit my needs, a lot of the other symptoms should disappear.

It's been such a blessing to see the Lord's hand in all of this, from leading me to finally admit that, hey, I was not okay, I was not getting better from my anxiety, and that was okay. It wasn't just a character flaw in me, though I recognize the need to seek the Lord more in my life with things that cause me to be anxious. It was also something physical that was hindering me, and I'm so glad God lead me to seek the doctor's opinion and help me figure out what I needed to change to feel better.

So that's my long medical update for you, blog readers. :) While I hope this means I can get back to doing some more blogging, I'm past the point of making promises as some days are still a little hard to get through. I will try, though. :) And things are getting a lot better for me in so many areas.

Blessings to you, readers, and thanks for reading this update!