Tuesday, November 29, 2016

An Extroverted Rant





So.
I have read these posts a lot on other sites, other blogs, etc. I see a lot of pins on pinterest relating to the difference between extroverts and introverts. Surprisingly, I see a lot of the introverted posts complaining about how extroverts don't understand them, how they are insensitive to how introverts work, and so on. But I don't see much on what extroverts deal with. As an extrovert living in an introverted dominated home, I would say that the reverse is often the case as well.


I'm not saying introverts don't get a bad rap for being quiet or needing their alone time, but I think a lot of people don't take into mind that extroverts have things they struggle with, too. And there are a lot of things introverts don't understand about extroverts that they pass off as "quirky" and "weird", the exact thing the introverts accuse the extroverts of doing.

So, as an extrovert who has experienced severe anxiety and a time where I would have been labeled a serious introvert, I feel like I can speak with clarity on the matter because I understand how it feels to be worn down by people, afraid of social situations and leery of parties. My anxiety attacks lasted only six months, but it was enough time for me to know what a lot of people experience when they have to socialize or have the spotlight on them. With that in mind, please know that I am fully aware of the problems of an introvert because for a time, I was one. A short time it may have been, but it was so severe I think I can safely say I know what most of the fears are like.

And so I present to you the rants of an Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving blogger and writer. AKA, an ESFP, the most "extroverted" of extroverts.




1. "Extroverts Want to Be the Center of Attention"
Okay.
So this one can be partially true depending on the individual. I will admit I do enjoy captivating a group of people and having their eyes on me, listening to my words. But its often for different reasons than people think. I love, love making people happy, and the only thing  better than making people happy is making them laugh. If I have the attention of a group of people I hope its because I'm telling a story that will leave everyone holding their sides. Nothing in the world means more to me than helping people have a good time. But I also love acting as the mediator for a group of people and getting everyone to interact with each other. Then I sit back and fade into the background, feeling very accomplished in getting everyone to have a great time and enjoy the gathering.
On the flip side, surprisingly, I hate giving speeches. I found this out in September when I gave my first speech to the Sons of Norway- I was shaking the entire thirty minutes while I spoke and that evening had some pretty bad anxiety. Talking with everyone in an interactive state afterward was fine, but when I'm the only one talking... I get nervous. So even though I love telling stories and being with a bunch of people, I cannot stand giving speeches. It scares me to death.
Now to prepare for my next presentation in February... ;)




2. "Extroverts Want Everyone to Be Like Them"
Uhm, no.
Perhaps its just me, but I don't want everyone to be like me. I love getting people comfortable and lighthearted around me, and having them interact in an enjoyable way. My goal with anyone I'm around: I will find what you enjoy, get you to talk about it, and then rejoice when we can have fun together! However I really don't want everyone to be like me. I'm exhausting and I know it, I exhaust myself. I couldn't imagine being in a group of people like me. It would be rather terrifying, to be honest, and can't say I'd enjoy it.
I really enjoy being with introverts. I'm not much of a girly-girl and I don't like to gush over guys, but the only young men I've been interested in were all introverts. I'm attracted to those of my opposite personality because, more than anything, I love making quiet people smile and laugh. And I love what quiet, introverted people do for me- they cause me to calm down and listen, meeting them in the middle.
So no, I don't want everyone to be like me, please be you and I'll be happy to tone down myself, trying my best to make you comfortable.


3. "Extroverts Are Severe Romantics"
Hah. Ha. Hahahahahahahahahahaha... *into eternity*
Okay, if you know me you know my thoughts on romance. Up until this year I was terrified of it. It wasn't until a very close friend of mine got into a relationship that I began to be "okay" with it. I'm one of those girls who cried for three hours when I thought a guy liked me. Literally. I did that. I think being a "romanticist" is more on personality and upbringing, not on if you're introverted or extroverted. In my family we were not allowed to read romance books. My mom didn't want us making false expectations of men and marriage, so she didn't want us reading such things. In fact I can honestly say the first romance novel I read was A Rose for Sergei, by K. Kidd. And that was a memoir. So romance is not my strong suite. Cue why you don't see many of my characters married/in relationships.
Romance and relationships scare me, but the Lord is slowly changing my heart and helping me not to be so terrified of such things. ;) 


4. "Extroverts Want to Be With People All the Time"
Again this one can be true depending on the person. A true story that happened last year: I worked an almost 35 hour week at work running register. By the end of my last day I was so tired and exhausted and generally crabby, I didn't want to deal with another customer all day. So I went out to go pick apples, thinking I would just enjoy being by myself and having some alone time.
Twenty minutes later I was refreshed and ready to be an extrovert again. My introverted moment didn't last long. ;)
However, I feel the closer I get to the Lord the more okay I am with having alone time. During this past year I spent hours alone at work while my bosses dealt with some health problems in the elder Mr. Hansen. I began to use the time to pray and ponder things I was learning through the Lord. I listened to music and made up stories. Alright I did more listening to music and making up stories than praying, but I've learned to be okay with some alone time. It's not as hard for me as it was before. Extroverts are really just afraid of not being with people, be it we're afraid we'll miss out on all the action, stories, or just having the comfort of being with someone we feel safe around. Being around people isn't because we're so attached to everyone, its more of a safety and comfort setting for us. I know that when I'm sitting in a group of people, I don't have to even talk to feel happy and at ease. Just having the presence of my family or close friends is good enough for me. But its important to learn to be alone as well, and the Lord is teaching me to use that time wisely and ponder Him and use it for prayer.


5. "Extroverts are Stupid"
This is a real thing, believe me! If you don't, check out this google search I began to type in for clarification. It's true, this is one of the biggest searches on extroverts.
Extroverts are not stupid. We can be really spacey and rather distracted, but we're not stupid. I can't tell you how many people have teased me about being slow, stupid, not all the way there, etc. In fact I get it so much I started to make jokes about it to make myself feel better over my own slowness. I am not quick-witted like my sisters, nor do I understand a lot of things right off. I'm a very slow learner, but once I "get it" I will never forget it. I've got smarts in my own way that may not be traditional, but if I am interested in a subject you can bet I will research, research, and research it until I'm exhausted. The stories I post about Russians? I read Russian history for three years before I posted any of those stories. I'm going on five years of Russian history studies. What I know about World War Two? Been reading World War Two history since I was eight. Everything I know is because I researched and worked hard to learn it. So quick-wit may not be my forte, nor will I be able to understand a lot of jokes and whatnot, but rest assured that even though someone's personality and mind seem a bit off and slow doesn't mean they're stupid. It just means they think differently than you do. I tell people to understand how my mind works, think of twenty train tracks were the switches are constantly going and switching the trains from track to track. I have always had trouble focusing and am borderline ADHD, but have random bouts of OCDness were I will spend hours working in a project. I'm different, but dumb isn't a word I'd use.


I'll do part two of this post at a later time. I think five "misconceptions" in one post is good enough for everyone!

So, do you agree with me? Disagree with me? Have something to add? I know most of my readers are introverted but I think I know of at least two... maybe three... extroverts who follow the blog. *Stares at Ivy* You know who you are! ;)

I'd love to see your thoughts and comments! Take care and blessings in Christ, the next part of this post to come out at a later time!

12 comments:

  1. So much insight into my favorite extroverted real life person and into my characters head. Now I have some questions for more extroverted study;

    1. Do you find yourself having a bunch of really awesome ideas but not being able to commit to just one in particular?
    2. Would you prefer talking in a group or getting really deep one on one with someone?
    3. How do your typical sibiling interactions run with most being introverted?
    4. Would you find yourself plaing around with your bandmates and interacting with the Audiance the most if you were in a band?

    Yeah, feel free to answer these via email. I am kinda curious on behalf of you and my character; )

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    1. Haha thanks, Emily, for the questions and comment! Answers!

      1. Mweh all the TIME. Its really annoying. I have so many grand ideas all he time and mom is always telling me how thin I'm spreading myself. For example: I wanted to make keychains for everyone out of Bodie's hair but then forgot the beads, and while I was looking at the beads I thought it would be cool to add dala horses, and now I want to make bracelets. >.< So I make lots of grand ideas that never go anywhere.

      2. I actually like both, but one-on-one is my favorite because I can get to know someone better. I really enjoy both, though, and oftentimes when I'm one-on-one I may get distracted listening to the group behind me, and when I'm in a group I get distracted by the one person in the background I want to talk to. There's no in between!

      3. Well, usually I'm told to be quiet because I'm too loud, or teased for being so excitable and "childlike". My siblings aren't mean to me, though, they just have lots of jokes about my random train of thought and excitable nature.

      4. I would be playing around with my bandmates for the entertainment of the crowd, and get the crowd to interact to. For example, I'd poke someone and blame someone else, then turn to the audience and say, "Don't you agree with me? I'm the innocent, here!" and get them to defend me. XD

      Thanks for the questions, I had fun answering them!

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  2. Interesting. I love articles, books, and such that help me understand people more.

    I'm not sure what I am. I am probably more of an introvert. I like crowds, but I can be very uncomfortable in them. I realized recently, at a teen retreat, that I'd rather work in a situation like that than attend. In loud, noisy groups I like to have a "purpose", or a specific task that I have to do. If I don't have one, I often find myself journaling, taking notes (perhaps about the situation, story ideas, or facts that I'm learning), or videoing because those give me a purpose. Once I get into a conversation I'm fine, I just sometimes have a hard time getting into them. Thankfully my work at a Christian camp has taught me to work harder on reaching out to others and initiating conversations. And I LOVE people! I just love purpose too! And loud, noisy groups can cause me some stress if I can't figure out my purpose.

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    1. Yeaaahhh you sound more introverted, Indi! It doesn't surprise me to be honest, you're quite factual and like to take things in the most reasonable way possible. Plus you like your time to ponder things alone. So I can see introverted as you! :D Glad you liked the post, thanks for commenting!

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  3. Wooowwww. Amazing post. I'm extremely introverted. Like, being the center of attention freaks me out. I will blush every. single. time. And that only makes it worse. XD But yeah. So cool to learn about personality types!! :D

    You not stupid, Emmy! You very smart peepsie. *nod nod*

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    1. Glad you enjoyed, Faith! Awwww its okay if being the center of attention makes you nervous, its normal. :) Again I am afraid of making speeches so I can relate. :) Glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for telling me I is not stupid. *cries and hugs Pottsy* Yo is awesome! ;)

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  4. Hehe, can't say whether or not I agree with you, since . . . I'm introverted. xD
    And you're not stupid, and you're not mean to introverts (^ I saw that up there... ;))
    It was nice to get a bit of insight into how extroverts are! I . . . am the opposite of you. I'm the only introverted girl in our family, and 3 out of 4 of my brothers are extroverted.
    It was so neat to be able to learn a bit more about you, Emily! Also, I'll give a speech if you talk to the people afterwards. xD The stage doesn't scare me . . . the interaction afterward does.
    Love the glasses in the picture, by the way. ;)

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    1. Hahahaha Jess, I was thinking how much you remind me of Amy and thinking perhaps that's why we get along so well. I tend to be friends with all introverts, in fact I only have a small handful of friends who are extroverted. AND YES, I'LL WRITE THE SPEECH, YOU GIVE IT, AND I'LL ANSWER QUESTIONS. XD That works for me! Or we can do the speech together, if I didn't have to be up there by myself I would be fine. ;) Its just being there by myself sharing information... *shudders* scares me. ;)

      Thanks for commenting! <3

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  5. As a fellow ESFP, I can give a hearty AMEN SISTAH to everything you mentioned. :) Awesome post!! ^_^

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    1. YES, MY LITTLE MINION! *Hugs Rebekah* we shall change the world for the better in understanding extroverts! We is not selfish people, we is wuving people! *nods* So we shall go out into the world for the good of all, and you can come because you now speak French! ;) XD Tell me if you get that joke... ;)

      Thanks for commenting!

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  6. *stares back at you*

    Oh my goodness Emily, this post had me rolling!!! "Extroverts want everyone to be like them" --- "I'm exhausting and I know it, I exhaust myself." *laughs so hard I choke* This is SOOOOOOO true!!! I can't tell you how many times I've wished I could take a vacation from myself!

    And also -- "Extroverts are severe romantics" --- Okay, knowing your thoughts about romance, and knowing my own thoughts about romance--seriously, this is a joke! *snakes crawling down my back*

    *Clears throat* Ummmm....if you is stupid, den I is stupider. But me no thinks eider one of us is stupid.

    This was an AWESOME post!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. OH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR COMMENT! XD Hahahahaha at last! ;)

      Ah, Ivy, after our two visits together I knew this post would have a lot of merit with you. Particularly as I reminisced playing with the pogo stick- ahem, I mean the extrovert jumping toy. XD So glad you enjoyed the post, I hope I can get a second one out this week. I think I should be able to, after I finish my Christmas cards... :)

      Anywho so glad you read and thanks for commenting!

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Thanks for reading my blog, and I hope you enjoyed this post! If you have any comments or thoughts you'd like to share I'd love to hear from you! But do be thoughtful of others and please, no swearing or badmouthing, or I'll have to delete the comment. Thank you!