Monday, April 20, 2015

Assignment 6: Entries

I received some great entries this week for the latest Write This Piece, assignment six. WOW! Fantastic job, all of you! I love how everyone has a different idea in their minds of what the music could contain. :)


Like always, I ordered them in order of the way I think portrayed the music best in my view. Everyone is a winner in my eyes, you all do so well. :)


First off, I’d like to congratulate first-time entrant Lydia for her wonderful piece, Secrets. Fantastic job, Lydia! I loved this piece because it was short and to the point- but so powerful and intense. I really loved it! I was so excited reading this. :D



Secrets
By Lydia Therese


Clutching the book close to my chest, I kept running. I stole a glance back - they were still close behind me. After the secrets written on the pages of this book. But I had to keep it away from them. My heart was beating fast. I knew I couldn't keep this up much longer. A car was coming up to the crosswalk, and it wasn't stopping. I had no choice. I ran with all my might. I missed the car by inches. I breathed a sigh of relief and kept on - right into an alleyway.
I realized it was a dead end. I held the book closer to me as the men approached. I would never let them read this - never.

Next we have a piece written by Lauren, who was so detail oriented she put the minute of the music in with her entry to match up the scene with the music. To make it easier to read, though, I took the minutes out. :) I love your piece, Lauren, because it is the sound of fear- and bravery. It reminds me a lot of the music. Fantastic job!


June Rebellion Barricade Scene
By Lauren


Roland clutched his musket as his heart throttled in his chest. The steady thumping of his heart matched the booming of the canons and muskets. Roland ducked behind the barricade as another minie ball flew by his head.  He jumped back up and fired a shot at the advancing enemy before ducking behind the barricade again. He reloaded his musket and prepared to fire again.
An enemy soldier called out to Roland, “You have no chance! You’re with a lost cause. Surrender and save yourselves!”
“Let us die facing our enemies!” Roland shouted back. “Let other generations come to take our place, until we have freed the earth!” He fired his musket at the enemy soldier and shouted at his comrades to continue fighting.  They continued fighting valiantly but all was in vain. There was no way to overcome the monarchy’s army; it was nearly ten times the size of their own. Roland scrambled to the top of the barricade, reached up, and seized the red flag that flapped in the wind. Waving the flag, Roland abandoned the barricade and raced back into town. Hot in his pursuit was a half dozen soldiers; shooting at him as he ran for cover. He ran into the old cafĂ© and ran up the steps to the upper floor. In terror, he came to a dead end. There was nowhere to hide or escape. His time was come.
Up the flight of the stairs marched the monarchy soldiers. Their steps were slow yet loud and the stairs shook as the enemy marched to the second floor. The soldiers pointed their muskets and aimed at Roland. The oldest soldier demanded Roland denounce his loyalty to the revolutionaries or die.
“I will never, ever renounce my brothers,” Roland replied in defiance. With a valiant cry, Roland proudly lifted up the red flag and stood boldly as the soldiers took aim to send Roland into eternity.

Now we’ve got our third entry, by Jesseca. I really enjoyed the idea of the chase and the arrest, Jesseca. I also liked how jumpy Jon was, and his reaction to not finding the leader of the gang there. You did a very good job. :) I didn’t feel it quite matched the music in the beginning, but again, this is a assignment based off of opinion. Fantastic work!


Night Raid
Jesseca Dawn


Jonathan glanced around the corner of the building, his gun in hand as he crept around in the dark alleyway. Up ahead, a rat jumped out of the garbage and scurried across the street. Jonathan jumped at the sound, then chided himself. Settle down Jon. It was only a rat. he thought as he took a deep breath to slow his rapidly pounding heart. He glanced back at his partner, Peter, who nodded. It was time. At the signal, Jonathan began to creep silently down the rutted gravel road, keeping his body pressed to the back of the brick building. Closer and closer he crept to the open doorway. The voices inside grew louder as he neared it. Time seemed to stand still, perspiration dotting his forehead even though the night was rather cool. Glancing back to make sure Peter was in position, he paused before pulling back the hammer on the pistol. It’s times like this I wish I had chosen a different profession. was the fleeting thought that skittered across his brain before he once more focused on the task at hand. Being a police was dangerous, but he knew that, if he had the chance, he wouldn’t change it. The laughter grew louder and he realized he now stood just outside the doorway to the abandoned coffee shop. It’s now or never.  He darted into the room. “This is the police. Put your hands in the air and don’t move. You’re all under arrest.”
At that moment, he heard a groan out in the alley, keeping his pistol trained on the three men in the room, he glanced out. Pater lay on the ground, his gun had been taken and Jonathan saw the fleeting form of a man dart around the corner. Glancing back into the room, he realized his mistake. Their leader isn’t here! At that moment, the deputies he had called in for back up came careening around the corner. Jonathan shoved the pistol into the holster and shouted, “Three of the members are in the shop.” Without a backward glance, he began to chase the man he had seen. As he hurried around the corner, he paused, then,. spotting the man on one of the many hidden alleyways, he started the chase. His heart pounding, he followed. Run, run, run! His brain commanded, but his legs began to do the opposite. At that moment, the man stumbled. Realizing his slight advantage, he sprinted forward, adrenaline  rushing through his veins as he closed the last few feet between them and, throwing himself at the man, he knocked him to the ground. Without taking a moment to rest, he knocked the gun out of his hand and  snapped a pair of handcuffs around his wrists. “It’s over, mister. You’re thieving days are over and you’re headed to jail.”

And last but not least, we have North by Rebekah Eddy. Rebekah’s piece is wonderful, exciting, and life-threatening. It also deals with an important time period in history. I enjoyed your piece a lot, Rebekah. You are very gifted. :) I felt the ending was a little too “happy” for how the song ended, but the rest of it… wow. You all do so well writing up these pieces. I have trouble writing short scenes, so these are great!


North
Rebekah Eddy


The moon vanished behind a cloud. Dustin’s pulse was racing, but he forced himself to slow down and take a few deep breaths. A fearful glance behind him told him that for the moment he was safe. North… which way is north? He thought frantically. Dashing over to the nearest tree, he rubbed the smooth trunk in desperation. If I can’t follow the northern star, Papa told me that the moss on a tree is always on the northern side. To his relief, there was moss growing on the tree and he quickly followed the direction it pointed. And not a moment too soon.
Behind him, Dustin again caught the faint metallic sound of a horse playing with its bit, and the thump of a different horse showing its impatience to begin the chase again.
How many men did Master Green send after me? Dustin worriedly scanned the trees behind him and around him as he continued running.God, I don’t know how much further I can run, He prayed, please send those men on a false trail or something. I’ve just got to get to the freedom of Canada!
Just then he broke through the trees and skidded to a halt at the beginning of a clearing. There was a house situated in the middle, and across its door was the “safe house” quilt that all slaves knew hung on houses which kept them safe from the slave capturers if they were within it.
Thank you was Dustin’s quick prayer of relief. Quickly and quietly, he slipped into the house, and the elderly couple who lived there helped his sore, blistered feet and the welts on his back from his many whippings. After he slept there for the night and after a final prayer of blessing from the Underground Railroad station masters, Dustin bid them a fond farewell before heading out once again to find his way to freedom.


Well, that’s all of them. Thanks for entering, girls! I’ll do another assignment soon. :) Everyone did so well!

3 comments:

  1. Awesome stories! Loved reading them all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Emily!
    (If you'd like to do it), I've just tagged you over on my blog with the Random Questions tag here: http://ladyofanorien.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-random-questions-tag-x-2.html

    Do enjoy! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I LOVE these assignments! :)
    Great job, everyone! I loved reading all the different scenes!

    ReplyDelete

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