Assignment 5: Entries
I got several GREAT entries for Assignment 5 in the Write This Piece! series. Originally I thought I'd gotten eight entries... but when I went back and looked, I only counted five? Somehow I miscounted. I thought for sure I had eight entries in all. I don't know. Please, please forgive me if you sent in an entry and somehow I misplaced it. Our family is going through a lot of things right now and I am having a hard time keeping track of my own personal life. I have no idea if I had eight entries or only five. Whatever the case, all the entries I received are great, and if I received others but didn't include them in this post, let me know and I'll post them in another post. I'm so sorry if I somehow skipped someone's entries!
Enjoy! These scenes were amazing. Congrats to all the great writers. I LOVED each and every one of these scenes you writers came up with. All were really scary! And inspiring... :D
The entry I felt was the most accurate to the music and well-written was Jesseca Dawn's Dark Storm Rising scene. I will admit I was somewhat biased in this area, because I'm a huge fan of WWII fiction and I love Jesseca's story she's writing. (I've been reading it for the last two weeks) So I picked Jesseca's to go first. It was so scary and so sad!
Dark Storm Rising
Daniel felt his way along the deserted road, one arm outstretched feeling the way through the darkness, the other arm wrapped around Helena as he helped her to walk. Max followed closely behind, the dark and silent world hiding the three. One, a young man dressed in civilian clothes and the other two merely children. The sudden the sound of hoofbeats caused Daniel to freeze, then hurriedly duck into the doorway of an old cafe. Max followed, his steps making no sound.
“Daniel? What is it?” Helena asked, her voice barely a whisper. Daniel shook his head, motioning her to be quiet.
“Let’s look over here. Those two kids gotta be around here somewhere. Them and that Jew that helped the escape.”
Helena froze. That was one voice they all recognized. She felt a shudder go through her. It was Major Ubel.
“Private, Vhere is Wilhelm?” That too was another familiar voice.
“You’ll remember he had taken the weekend off, sir. To visit his parents.” Private Ralph reminded him.
“Ack! The one time I need him ze most, he is not here! Alright, ve vill split up and look for them. You go down here and check these buildings vhile I go and check closer to ze border. I’ll take Ralph with me. Vould that work?”
Major Ubel nodded.
No! Please, Jesus. Don’t let him find us. Not him! Helena silently prayed. The sound of galloping hoofbeats filled the air as Major Ramond hurried away from where they hid. But a greater dread filled them as they heard another set of hoofbeats move closer.
Major Ubel took his time going down the road, shining his light thoroughly across the abandoned stores. Daniel pressed himself deeper into the shadows, pulling Helena with him. As he did, the door fell back with a clatter. All three froze as the hoofbeats stopped.
“I know they were here.” There was the sound of someone dismounting, then, suddenly, the bright beam of a flashlight shone in their faces.
“Well, now we will see what happens when you disobey the Reich!” The evil in Major Ubels face was clearly evident. “And this time, you will die, jew!” Before anyone knew what was happening, he had pulled his Steyr M1912 pistol from his holster and fired a shot. Helena fought to keep her balance as Daniel collapsed in a heap, nearly pulling her down with him.
Major Ubel walked over and roughly grabbed her.
“No, Daniel!!” she screamed, as Major Ubel dragged her from the building.
“You better come along too, boy. Unless you want your friend here hurt.” Major Ubel sneered.
Max shakily stood up and, taking one last glance and Daniel’s body then hurried to follow the Major.
Rebekah Eddy's entry comes in second, well written and also very scary! (You all seem to like writing for scary music... why do you suppose that is?) ;) :D Rebekah's piece had a totally different view that I really liked. She wrote about the bad guys, not the good guys! I was impressed by her work. That's why she got her entry in second. This was a real skin-crawling scene for me. I think you'll see it matches the music quite well.
We Are Robbers
“You have got to be kidding me…” Jacob hissed to his friend in a barely audible whisper, cocking his gun. The click sounded deafening in the still air.
“Nope.” Jason replied grimly, cocking his own gun and trying to sound more hopeful about his plan than he really was. “Come on, buddy, where’s your sense of adventure?”
“Where is always is… but I would hardly call this an adventure. This is suicide! Robbing a well-known bank isn’t exactly what I would call smart.”
“Well, then, how come you’re helping me?”
“Because you’re my friend and we both need the money.”
“Right. So let’s get this done!”
The two boys slipped into the darkness of the bank after Jason picked the lock open. Both of them walked silently across the shadowed interior to where they both knew the safe was located. Jason had assured his friend that he had figured out the combination, but when they got there, he tried the code…several times…but it didn’t work.
Desperate now, Jason worked on the safe frantically while Jacob kept watch. Beads of perspiration appeared on their foreheads as time slipped by. Still, no luck.
“Let’s give up on it!” Jacob hissed. “I saw a shadow and I think it’s time to make ourselves invisible.”
“Right.” Jason sighed, trying to mask his obvious relief. “Come on!”
They both went over to the nearest window, but as Jacob worked on opening it, another gun cocked, but this one was behind them.
Slowly, the boys turned around to face the three police officers.
They were caught.
Our next entry was truly the creepiest one out of the bunch. So creepy, that I had trouble reading it. It was scary. By far the scariest entry I've recieved thus far. Please welcome Audrey, first time writer for the Assignment writing series!
Victory Accomplished, For Now…
Evil hung in the air like a dark cloud. Evil so deeply intense no human could produce it. Satan smiled an evil smile that only a demon could. He had finally found a road into Jesus’ life through Judas, but the arrest in the Garden of Gethsemane was only the beginning. Finally, finally, after thousands of years of trying to be as powerful as God, his mission was accomplished. The Son of God whom he had detested and hated so long was being beaten and scourged by Roman soldiers, only minutes away from being crucified. Satan couldn’t believe his good fortune in Jesus coming to earth as a man. Why would He do that? Didn’t he know I would eventually kill Him since He came into my territory? Satan put these questions behind him…what did it matter now that he had Jesus right where he wanted Him. Slowly Satan followed behind as Jesus was led up the hill, towards Golgotha. With a crowd of people, some crying and others sneering, Jesus’ raw, torn-open body was laid on the cross. Satan thoroughly enjoyed every time the hammer came down and nailed his greatest enemy to the cross. Victory accomplished, or so Satan thought.
Up next for our Assignment piece is our fourth entry, written by Faith. It was really well done! I was so impressed by your work, Faith. You did a great job. I loved your piece and I can use my imagination enough to imagine this entire scene. Great job!
Shadows in the Woods
"Matt!" Eighteen year-old Rachel Anders screamed.
Matthew whirled at his eldest sister's cry. At the same second an Indian lance pierced the ground next to him.
"Run for the cabin!" Rachel grabbed her five year-old sister, Alivia's hand and raced up the wooded incline.
Though small for his ten years, Matt was fast. He reached the cabin enough ahead of his sisters to have the door opened for them. Rachel rushed into their tiny home, Alivia in tow, and slammed the door. She frantically helped Matt secure the door and shutter the windows.
"Wh-what's happening?" Alivia asked, frightened.
"There was a group of Indians on the ridge." Rachel dropped onto the bed and drew Alivia close. "I hope and pray they don't know Pa is gone to the settlement for supplies."
Matt nervously peered through a small crack in the window shutter. "What are we going to do?"
Rachel gazed across the top of Alivia's head at the shotgun propped in the corner. She knew how to use it. Pa had taught all of his children how to properly handle firearms once they were of a certain age. Rachel would use the gun if she had to in order to protect Matt and Alivia, but the thought of actually pointing it at one of the warriors terrified her.
"I can't see 'me, but they're out there. The birds have stopped chirping." Matt turned toward Rachel and saw her looking at the gun. "It's ok, Rachel. Pa should be back soon."
"We can't stay in here forever." Rachel forced a half-smile. "Come here." She patted the straw mattress at her side, opposite Alivia.
Matt hurried over and sat down next to his sisters. A few creepy moments later a slight rustling was heard.
Rachel stood. Matt started to follow her.
"No, Matt. Stay with Alivia." Rachel willed her shaky legs to carry her across the rough floorboards to the cabin door.
Slowly, shakily she removed the brace and opened the door a crack. A tall Comanche warrior complete with feathers and paint glared at her from mere yards away.
She gasped and slammed the door. After quickly replacing the brace, she snatched up the shotgun.
"They're out there?" Matt asked. It was more of a statement rather than a question.
Rachel nodded. "Yes. Would you please bring me the ammunition?"
Matt snatched the pouch off of a wooden peg and brought it to her.
Rachel reached inside and stopped. There were only two shells in it.
Matt again peeked out the window. He jumped back, nearly tripping over a stool. "They're right there!" A shadow could be seen moving past the window.
Rachel grabbed him by the arm and pulled him over to the bed.
The three siblings spent the next half-hour in complete silence. Matt sat on the bed, against the wall and held his trembling, sobbing little sister.
Rachel sat next to them, the shotgun across her lap. A million thoughts raced through her mind. Would the Indians bust into the cabin? Would they try to burn them out? Or would they wait for them to give themselves up? After all they didn't have much water...
She turned to take a hand of each of her younger siblings hands. "I'm scared. Let's pray!"
Matt and Alivia immediately agreed.
"Dear Heavenly Father, please protect us and and protect Pa on the way back. In Jesus' Name we pray, Amen."
Ka-pow! The sharp crack of a rifle broke the eerie stillness. Several more shots followed.
Bang! Pow! Bam!
A knocking came to the door. Shotgun in hand Rachel walked toward it. This was strange, Indians did not knock at the door.
The knocking grew louder. "Rachel! Matt! It's me! The Indians are gone. They left! Alivia!"
Rachel sighed in relief, dropped the gun, and threw open the door. "Pa!"
He held her tight. "Are you alright?"
"We're fine, Pa."
Joshua Anders hurried across the room to his two youngest children. "Rachel, take a look outside. I brought you something."
Rachel stepped out onto the porch and spotted a young man standing next to a pair of horses. "Will!" She raced toward him and straight into her fiance's arms.
And last but certainly not least, we have Lauren Stoner's wonderful and intriguing piece. Again, I put these writing pieces in order of how I feel they best fit the music. I think Lauren's scene was a wonderful piece of work. I just use my imagination and listen to the music and see if I feel the piece works with what I'm hearing in the music.
Lauren, I really did like your piece. It was quite different from the others. I am left wondering who Lucy is and why she's climbing out a palace window. Great job, Lauren!
Charlotte peeked out from her position in the bushes. There wasn’t much cover but it was the only hiding spot nearby. Charlotte turned her head and gazed at the palace. She could see a figure climbing out a palace window. The figure certainly had chosen a bad window to sneak out of; the window was on the third floor and it was a long way down. However, the figure slowly and steadily made its way down using a coil of rope. Charlotte continued to watch, almost unable to contain her excitement at finally discovering who this mysterious character was. The figure dropped to the ground and pulled off a backpack. Charlotte leaned forward to get a better look but while doing so, stepped on a twig. The snap of the twig sounded as loud as a fog horn on the cold and dreary night. Charlotte sucked in a breath and looked at the figure.
The figure spun around and spied Charlotte crouched behind the bushes. Charlotte jumped up and started running. The figure sprinted after her. Charlotte raced through the meadow as fast as she could but for every step she took, the figure took two. Charlotte felt something grab her by the ankle and she tumbled to the ground. She landed face first in the soft earth. She coughed as she tasted dirt and grass. Charlotte’s heart pounded in fright; she was in big trouble this time. No one was around to rescue her now. The figure sprang upon her and flipped her around so they were looking at each other face to face. Charlotte gasped in horror as she stared at her captor’s face.
That's it for this week's Writing Assignment. I have a really great one planned for you all that I think you're really going to like. I really loved all your scenes. Great job, everyone! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your stories with me. I really love getting to read all these clips and see how others imagine things from the same piece of music that I hear.
I will do another assignment soon. I have some stuff I have to take care of and I have no idea when I'll put up the next post, but rest assured it will happen.
Thank you again, everyone. God Bless you and your writing! Keep writing! :D