Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Onward


When I look and see what my last post was, I am reminded of a quote I saw the other day by C.S. Lewis.
"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different..."

It's been a long time, blog readers. A very long time, but I think I'm ready to take the step to get back into blogging. And I'm glad. These last couple months have been difficult, but God is good, and He's taught me sooo much that I want to share with you.

The biggest thing I feel ready to share is I had some health issues during the time I was gone from the blog world that were quite concerning. I still don't have an answer of what it was, and hopefully I will soon, but chances are I'll never know. And in one sense that's hard, because it could happen again and I will have to redo tests once more, but on the other hand, that's alright. I am feeling much better. I have been able to get back into physical work. Today I weeded the garden with my mother and it was refreshing to be out and weeding and to be able to do so with less pain! And I am blessed. There are days I feel yucky still, and that can be hard, but it's okay. I'm learning. I'm learning each and every day to choose joy over anxiety, and to choose to be happy in whatever God's got for me.


Secondly, I'm sort of trying to revamp my writing life. I haven't quite decided what that looks like, yet, but I think it will include switching to a website instead of a blog address. I'm not sure yet, but if I do I'll let you know. I'm sort of trying to figure out what direction I'm going in my writing life, and that's majorly affected by my real life. So stay tuned for that!


Third, Bodie is now officially retired from riding. Due to his fall injury and his already difficult arthritis, I made the decision in February to stop riding him because it hurt him too much. My vet seconded the motion and, unless Bodie is having a really good day, I have not and will not be riding him. This was a difficult decision for me to make but one I felt was necessary. Currently Bodie is enjoying getting to graze in our front field and being brushed, and when the roads are better from our long winter I will take him out on walks. He enjoys his retirement immensely, though sometimes he's bored. Okay, a lot of the time, since I haven't spent the time with him that I would like or should. ;)


And finally, I have once more been really struggling with anxiety. You older readers might recall when I went through that three years ago, (See blog post Quotes to Live By) and the problem has returned in full force. But that, too, is getting better, as I learn to trust the Lord no matter what I face. Even as I write this and recall some of the situation of last time and what I had to go through for it to get better, it makes me a bit scared. But, again, that's okay. My future is not ruled by my past, and my present does not control my future, only God does. I have to give it to the Lord, and sometimes I have to do it daily, that I have no control over my future, the Lord does. And God doesn't want to harm me, he wants me to trust Him and not fear what He has in store.


There's a lot of things I'm learning right now, and honestly I'm still not very good at it. Some days I spend a better part of them crying and trying to figure out what I have to do to "fix" things that cannot even be fixed because, I have no control over them, and other days, like today, I do very well. It's a roller coaster ride and I will no doubt continue to struggle, but it's okay. It's really okay.


I am learning a lot. I'm facing lots of new and different experiences that are not to be feared, but should make me curious to see what great things God's got planned! And I want to do my best to get back into my regular life, get back into blogging, and trying to share what the Lord's doing in my life to help you bloggers, too.

Thank you for being so patient with me and waiting for me to return. I hope I can keep up regularly with my blog, but, knowing me, that could be an iffy thing. ;) I will do my best, though.

Thank you readers for being so understanding, for waiting on me, and reading this post. I really appreciate it. May the Lord bless you, may you follow His path for you, and may you trust that he will never leave you nor forsake you, that He is God, and He's got a good plan for you.

I know I have to remind myself of that pretty much every day. I hope that, if you're struggling with that when you read this, it reminds you, too.

God bless, readers!



13 comments:

  1. Aww, it's great to have you "back" Emily!
    I have been, and will continue to pray for you! <3

    God can get you through this. He's got this. Don't ever forget that. :)
    If you EVER need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. <3

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    1. Thank you sooo much, Megs. <3 And thank you for being there for me. :) Goodness I haven't talked to ya'll in forever. I need to do that again sometime. You're such an awesome friend, thank you. <3

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  2. Erinn Gordon5/10/2017

    Emily, thank you for sharing this. Hebrews 13:5 "He will never leave you nor forsake you," is the verse that I have clung to for many years. Thank you for testifying to truth. We truly do serve an amazing and loving Father, whose plans for us are good and best. I love you!

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    1. 1 John 4:18-19 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.

      This has really encouraged me, Erinn, over the last two days. I had always read the "Perfect Love Casts Out Fear" but the rest of the verse really hit me yesterday. I hope it encourages you, too. <3

      Love ya, girl.

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  3. Welcome back, Emily! I missed your posts! :) You will be in my prayers, thank you for your honesty with us. God bless!

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    1. Thank you for praying, Bethany! And for your warm comment. :) Means a lot to me!

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    2. Aw, you're welcome! :)

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  4. Oh Emily, I am so sorry that you are going through so many difficulties. Here are a few verses to encourage you.

    Philippians 4:13 "I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me."
    Psalm 84:11b "No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly."

    Also, I suggest that you go to a naturopath and get a BLOOD allergy test. A lot of times foods can cause anxiety and different pains. A normal allergy test from a doctor only shows severe allergies that the body is fighting very hard, but a blood test will show food sensitivities which may cause a lot of your symptoms.

    I will caution you that a lot of naturopaths are unclean and deal with "New Age Medicine" which is actually just witchcraft. You know that saying "If it's new it's not true, and it it's true it's not new." These New Age methods WORK, but they are all from the devil and you have to be very careful. That is why I suggested a BLOOD test, because there are unclean tests you can, but you really don't want to. Blood tests from the lab are all science, and spiritually clean.

    This side of healthy is a very scary and risky part of life, but it can help you! Pray through this whole time and ask God to keep you safe and open your eyes to things that you may not know about.

    Another thing. I don't know if you know about Food Dyes, like Red 40 and Blues 1, but they influence your moods. Red causes anger issues, and Yellow dye causes anxiety and depression. Avoiding these dyes in food can help you so much!

    I'm praying for you Emily, may God guide you to do what is best. Blessings and prayers for health sending your way. ~Libby

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    1. Thank you so much for your advice, Libby! The current health issue I have I am 99% isn't related to food allergies, but an internal injury or issue. I really appreciate your prayers and advice, though, and thanks for commenting. I can't recall if you've commented before, so welcome to the blog! ;)

      I am praying every day that I can trust the Lord and lean on his goodness, and I really appreciate that everyone is praying for me. :) Take care and blessings in the Lord!

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  5. Praying blessings your way, Emmy! <3

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    1. Thank you, Faith! <3 You are super sweet. :)

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  6. I'm sorry you're struggling with these things. :( Know that I'll definitely be praying for you!! <3

    ~Lydia~ <3

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    1. Thank you so much, Lydia, that means a lot to me! <3 :)

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