Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Hijacked!... Allegedly

*Emily is sitting watching My Little Pony with little sister. A figure steals across the floor, surprisingly quiet for how large he is. He stops behind the two girls, neither see him. He then eyes the TV in interest, but his true motive is still at hand. He slips from the living room to the kitchen where the laptop is standing and-*
“Ruslan Ivanovich Petrov what are you doing?”
Why Emily, I am merely looking at your computer. What is big problem?
“Big problem! Ruslan, you’re not just looking at my computer you have it open and you have… my blog open?”
Allegedly, my dear.

“No. This is not “allegedly” you have it open and I can see it with my own eyes! I’m not blind, Ruslan!”
Allegedly. *Smirks*
No. No no no no no and no you are not doing whatever you’re going to do!”
Ah, but Emily, you have let Gerhard use computer before. Why do I get treated with such bad treatment? You should let your friend Ruslan be privileged to use such accommodations as well.
“That makes no sense and no, I didn’t let him use it he literally took it from me, like you’re doing right now.
Allegedly.
“What do you mean allegedly!”
I asked you, didn’t I?
“But-”
Therefore I didn’t take it, I am asking and so you should be happy with me. You can still deny me access to your computer, though it would be very sad and make Ruslan feel unloved.
“Unloved!”
Da, it is true. It would prove that I am not your friend even after years of sacrifice on my part in making sure you were well cared for and alive and kicking.
“Whhhaaa Ruslan that would be the work of Jake and then Aichear, along with a dozen other characters before you even came along. You’ve only been here for like what, a year? Less than that, I have the record for when I first came up with your character idea- it was after May of last year!
I feel I still have big part to play in the fact you’re not dead.
“...I’m not even going to answer that.”
So you admit it?
“No I just don’t want to respond to you. I’m leaving.”
Okay, that is fine. Have fun watching Pony show.
“No wait that means you’re just going to use my laptop, doesn’t it?”
Only with your permission. I’ll still be sad if you said no. And feel quite betrayed.
“You’re guilting me, aren’t you?”
Allegedly.
“Aughhh fine Ruslan. What are you even going to write?” *Scoots into a chair next to Ruslan* “Heyyy are you even planning on doing something? This better not have anything to do with your Soviet Russia jokes you and Vaughn are so fond of. Which by the way I think you need to spend a little less time around that guy you’re a bad influence on him.”
Nyet, nyet, Emily, I want to write blog post like Gerhard. About myself. As an introduction.
“Ehhhh… okay fine just don’t give anything away or you’re in huge trouble. Please add in to my readers I just finished editing the first volume of the Mornellys and will start my manuscript formatting and editing soon!”
It will all be alleged of course. I will not give anything away. Allegedly.
“Grrr your favorite word in the whole world.”
Don’t you mean… allegedly?
“Okay fine write your post I’m leaving I was watching a movie before you interrupted me so goodbye. Don’t write anything questionable and be sure you don’t freak anyone out. You’re good at that, you know.”
I am aware of that.
“I’m watching you, Ruslan…”
*Ruslan waits until Emily exits the kitchen. Then turns to the counter where she’d set her laptop.*
Greetings, readers! It is big honor for me to talk to you. My name, as been stated before by my dear, dear friend Emily, is Ruslan Ivanovich Petrov. I am from Rossiya, well, sort of. I am really from all over place, but that matters little to you, I assume.
You may have heard of me from my wonderful and dear friends the Mornellys. They are such good people, I especially care for little Aileen. She is so cute and adorable, I must say that if I could I’d adopt her on the spot. She would have good home with me.
But alas her brothers decided to keep her so I cannot. That is okay. I have a daughter of my own, her name is Olga Ruslanovna Petrova, she is from Rumyniya. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, even though technically she is not my daughter, I adopted her. She is such sweet girl, and a girl after my own heart. She learned well from her tyatya Ruslan, if I do say so myself.
Let’s see, what else can I tell you without incurring the wrath of Emily? I am actually CENSORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION and-
That is strange. Why did it censor out? Hmm…
Greetings, Bran. You have come to help me write, da?
*Bran has appeared in the kitchen, arms crossed and glaring but also seeming a bit… nervous? That can’t be right, why would he be afraid?*
“What are you doing, Ruslan?”
I have gotten permission to write story on Emily’s blog. You come to watch me?
“No I’ve come to put a stop to it. Anything you write is either going to be a pack of lies or you’re out to steal something, be it the computer or something off of it.”
That is very offensive. You should learn to be polite from Aileen.
*Appearing out of nowhere, like they usually do, comes Breandan and Aichear. Aichear is glaring (worse than usual, gasp!), and Breandan is also glaring? How strange!*
Oh, more Mornellys! Zdravstvuyte! I am honored to see you come and watch me write!
“No.”
“What Aichear means to say, Ruslan, is this is not acceptable and we’re not going to let you steal Emily’s things simply because she doesn’t know how to say no to you.”
*From other room*
“I heard that and that’s not the case I just didn’t want to argue with him anymore!”
Me, steal? Allegedly.
*Bran snorts* “Sure.”
“Leave, Ruslan.”
Aichear, you are going to go counter to what Emily has permitted? I do not think that is allowed, she is creator of stories, da?
“Oh gosh Ruslan your English is terrible!” *Bran is dying from lack of correctness on the part of Ruslan but that’s no surprise* “And there’s three of us here, that is reason enough for you to listen to what we’ve said.”
I do not listen to anyone.
*Breandan rolls his eyes* “We’ve noticed.”
Anyways, readers, before I was interrupted by my friends who are so nice and kind to me, I was going to tell you that CENSORED. CENSORED. AND YES THIS IS CENSORED, TOO, BECAUSE RUSLAN IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED.
Hmmm, I am seeing a pattern. You are censor my work, da?
“Correct.”
Well that is a bit rude. *Ruslan stands up, Breandan steps back, Bran hesitates and Aichear puts a hand to his glasses but he looks like he’s a bit unsure* Maybe we go for walk outside, da?
*All together* “Ehh…”
“Okkkaayyy I think that’s enough writing for today, Ruslan! Thanks for coming by and I’ll be sure and post it to the blog and you can be happy about that, alright? Now let’s not fight and get along, right everyone? Last thing we want is a fight…” *Emily shuts the laptop with a smile and pats Ruslan on the shoulder.* “Thank you for your contribution!”
*Ruslan rests a massive hand on Emily’s shoulder, she’s dwarfed by his size* “You are welcome, Emily. I am glad you let me write a blog post…. Allegedly.”
*Groans from the others, big surprise*
END.


...Allegedly.

P.S. So I got this email in my inbox the other day...
Apparently CiarĂ¡n is now writing promotional emails for Etsy. I'm worried how long he'll keep that job...

41 comments:

  1. Hahaha I allegedly loved it! I allegedly hope that Ruslan hijacks your laptop more! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruslan4/06/2016

      Thank you, Lauren! You are very nice. I am glad you are liking what I have to say, da. You are quite kind. I hope Mornellys read these comments, so they know how nice everyone is to me. Spasibo!

      Delete
    2. Glad you liked it, Lauren. And Ruslan please don't provoke the Mornellys anymore than you already do. Please. *Does a face palm*

      Delete
  2. Why do you keep using that word? I don't think it means what you think it means...

    B-) Sorry, I'm in a Princess Bride mood right now. I couldn't help myself.
    As always, another hilarious post about the Mornelly's and Co. :) Looking forward to more!! :D

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    Replies
    1. Ruslan4/06/2016

      Oh, Rebekah, I am knowing quite well what that word means. How else do you think I managed to get banished instead of hung for *ahem* allegedly doing something? I am quite good at being neutral.

      Also Gerhard loves Princess Bride, it is one of his favorite movies. He talks lots about it, da. Don't you, Gerhard?

      Delete
    2. The Most Excellent Gerhard!4/06/2016

      Oh gosh I love zat movie! It is most excellent! Soo funny! You are most excellent, Rebekah, for liking such an excellent movie like zat! I NEED TO WATCH ZAT MOVIE NOW!

      And Ruslan GET OFF ZHE INTERNET. You are scaring all zhe nice children!

      Delete
    3. Ruslan is quite aware of his choice of words he just... chooses to use them excessively. He is somewhat aggravating in that way. Gerhard stop fighting with Ruslan. What are YOU doing on my blog, anyways?

      Delete
  3. Hahaha! That was soo great!
    It was quite nice to "Allegedly" meet you Ruslan. ;)
    Ah! "Like, Totally, Whatever". That is SO funny! Oh Ciaran...

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    Replies
    1. Ruslan4/06/2016

      Oh, a girl who understands what I am about. I am glad to have allegedly met you as well, Megs. You are nice girl. Perhaps I will adopt you, da?

      Delete
    2. Hahaha Megs wasn't that email hilarious? I laughed when I saw it. ;)

      Ruslan no, please, Megs has Damhan as her guardian. You can't take her she's already been claimed. Stop trying to steal everyone's charges.

      Delete
  4. That was totally super! I loved it! ...Allegedly. ;)
    Great job Emily!

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    Replies
    1. Ruslan4/06/2016

      You are smart, Tiffany. You have learned well, Ruslan is very proud of you, da. Very good job.

      Delete
    2. Don't encourage him, Tiffany. Glad you enjoyed Ruslan's shenanigans... I think.

      Delete
  5. HAHA! That was so funny!!
    Great job!

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    Replies
    1. Ruslan4/06/2016

      Thank you very much, Kai. You are most kind and nice. All these nice children, I am glad. I can adopt you all, da? I think so.

      Delete
    2. Ruslan. NO. They're not yours to adopt they have families and guardians. Go find someone who doesn't have a guardian.

      Delete
  6. Anonymous4/06/2016

    -Felicity-

    Well, this was a boatload of fun to read. :D Thank you, Ruslin, for being fun to watch and thank you, Emily, for creating Ruslin. :D <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruslan4/06/2016

      You are most welcome, Felicity. I am glad you think I am fun, da. That makes me very happy. I hope my friends read this.

      Delete
    2. Well glad you enjoyed Ruslan's antics. I for one will hand it to him he at least didn't knock me out. Ruslan please, please stop trying to provoke the boys.

      Delete
  7. Kaitlyn K.4/07/2016

    Hehe, I thoroughly enjoyed your hijacking, Ruslan... allegedly. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruslan4/09/2016

      I am so glad, Kaitlyn. That is making me very happy. But it wasn't a hijacking, I had permission. Allegedly of course.

      Delete
    2. Ruslan Ivanovich.... Sheesh.

      Delete
  8. This group (Pancake, Ruslan, and The Most Excellent Gerhard) are my favorites. I want to be their friends, ha ha! You're wonderful Ruslan, not scary, and don't worry about your English, it adds to your charm! ;-)
    ~JT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruslan4/09/2016

      We are more than happy to make you friends with us, da! We are always looking for new friends. Gerhard likes to hog them all for himself, though, so I have taught him how to share. I am glad you are not worried about my English or have time understand it, that makes me feel proud. You are nice girl.

      Delete
    2. The Most Excellent Gerhard!4/09/2016

      HEY I AM NOT ZHE ONE WHO STEALS ALL THE KIDS YOU DID! You took the twins from me you Russkiy!

      Delete
    3. Ruslan4/09/2016

      Allegedly.

      Delete
    4. I would have asked you to be my guardian Ruslan, but I'm glad R asked you. Gerhard is mine, and I am quite happy with that. )Gerhard, you'd get along so well with my character Andrew. You're two peas in a pod. He's younger though :P) And Emily, odd request, but could you see if you're still able to access my blog (Country Crazy)? I changed some security stuff due to weird activity, so it should only allow blog authors on. I'm not sure if it works though. Let me know if it does. If you don't want to do it I'll ask someone else, it's no biggie! :)
      ~JT

      Delete
    5. Heh, yeah, well, have fun with Gerhard, he's a loaded pistol without safety on. ;) I actually couldn't find your blog? It's completely gone from my list of blogs I follow, maybe you should message me on Google+ with the link because I can't find it. Sorry. :(

      Delete
    6. Anonymous4/12/2016

      Okay, that's all I needed to know. Thank you. I'll try and figure it out, otherwise I'll just make it public again. Do you know anyway to set it up where people can access it, but it's more secure? (And that's what I like about Gerhard, ha ha!)
      ~JT

      Delete
    7. I have no idea, if you perhaps know Rishona you may want to ask her. Or talk to Jesseca Dawn who knows Rishona and she may be able to tell you. :)

      Delete
  9. I'd be pleased if you would be my guardian, Ruslan. That is,... allegedly. And if Emily lets you..

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    1. Ruslan4/09/2016

      Oh R, you make me so happy I do not know proper English words to tell you what inside of me! You are sweet, wonderful girl, da! I am much excited to be your guardian! We will have lots of good times, da. I will show you many things and we will be good friends. I am happy to be your protector!

      Delete
    2. Uhm, well, R, if you want him as your guardian I really have no say in it. Ruslan does what Ruslan does, so it's up to you. I'm glad you like him. He's a bit... shall we say a bad influence at times? But if you can handle him I'm sure he'll enjoy his time with you, he adores kids of all ages and will dote on you like you wouldn't believe.

      Delete
  10. This was awesome, as always! Thanks so much Emily...and Ruslan...and Bran...and Breandan...and Aichear! You guys are all so cool!

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    1. Ruslan4/09/2016

      I am so glad you have great enjoyment for this, Bethany. I am so honored so many people have liked this. It makes me feel like I am liked. This is nice feeling to have, da. I will make sure I visit each and every one of you.

      Delete
    2. I'm glad you enjoyed, Bethany. Now, Ruslan, don't make everyone angry with you it's really not good for everyone's health.

      Delete
    3. Yes, it is good to feel liked. I will look forward to your visit! *wink

      Delete
    4. Well enjoy yourself then because you'll find it interesting. Make sure you have tea cakes on hand. ;)

      Delete
    5. I shall! (Do you have a favorite recipe?)

      Delete
    6. Ruslan4/13/2016

      That I do, little Bethany! I am glad you ask! http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/russian-tea-cakes/3af8664b-6c3e-4022-b686-cd961521e59b

      Delete

Thanks for reading my blog, and I hope you enjoyed this post! If you have any comments or thoughts you'd like to share I'd love to hear from you! But do be thoughtful of others and please, no swearing or badmouthing, or I'll have to delete the comment. Thank you!