"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different..."
It's been a long time, blog readers. A very long time, but I think I'm ready to take the step to get back into blogging. And I'm glad. These last couple months have been difficult, but God is good, and He's taught me sooo much that I want to share with you.
The biggest thing I feel ready to share is I had some health issues during the time I was gone from the blog world that were quite concerning. I still don't have an answer of what it was, and hopefully I will soon, but chances are I'll never know. And in one sense that's hard, because it could happen again and I will have to redo tests once more, but on the other hand, that's alright. I am feeling much better. I have been able to get back into physical work. Today I weeded the garden with my mother and it was refreshing to be out and weeding and to be able to do so with less pain! And I am blessed. There are days I feel yucky still, and that can be hard, but it's okay. I'm learning. I'm learning each and every day to choose joy over anxiety, and to choose to be happy in whatever God's got for me.
Secondly, I'm sort of trying to revamp my writing life. I haven't quite decided what that looks like, yet, but I think it will include switching to a website instead of a blog address. I'm not sure yet, but if I do I'll let you know. I'm sort of trying to figure out what direction I'm going in my writing life, and that's majorly affected by my real life. So stay tuned for that!
Third, Bodie is now officially retired from riding. Due to his fall injury and his already difficult arthritis, I made the decision in February to stop riding him because it hurt him too much. My vet seconded the motion and, unless Bodie is having a really good day, I have not and will not be riding him. This was a difficult decision for me to make but one I felt was necessary. Currently Bodie is enjoying getting to graze in our front field and being brushed, and when the roads are better from our long winter I will take him out on walks. He enjoys his retirement immensely, though sometimes he's bored. Okay, a lot of the time, since I haven't spent the time with him that I would like or should. ;)
And finally, I have once more been really struggling with anxiety. You older readers might recall when I went through that three years ago, (See blog post Quotes to Live By) and the problem has returned in full force. But that, too, is getting better, as I learn to trust the Lord no matter what I face. Even as I write this and recall some of the situation of last time and what I had to go through for it to get better, it makes me a bit scared. But, again, that's okay. My future is not ruled by my past, and my present does not control my future, only God does. I have to give it to the Lord, and sometimes I have to do it daily, that I have no control over my future, the Lord does. And God doesn't want to harm me, he wants me to trust Him and not fear what He has in store.
There's a lot of things I'm learning right now, and honestly I'm still not very good at it. Some days I spend a better part of them crying and trying to figure out what I have to do to "fix" things that cannot even be fixed because, I have no control over them, and other days, like today, I do very well. It's a roller coaster ride and I will no doubt continue to struggle, but it's okay. It's really okay.
I am learning a lot. I'm facing lots of new and different experiences that are not to be feared, but should make me curious to see what great things God's got planned! And I want to do my best to get back into my regular life, get back into blogging, and trying to share what the Lord's doing in my life to help you bloggers, too.
Thank you for being so patient with me and waiting for me to return. I hope I can keep up regularly with my blog, but, knowing me, that could be an iffy thing. ;) I will do my best, though.
Thank you readers for being so understanding, for waiting on me, and reading this post. I really appreciate it. May the Lord bless you, may you follow His path for you, and may you trust that he will never leave you nor forsake you, that He is God, and He's got a good plan for you.
I know I have to remind myself of that pretty much every day. I hope that, if you're struggling with that when you read this, it reminds you, too.
God bless, readers!